Emotional Freedom Techniques - EFT Discussion
Many people think they are suffering fear of failure when what they really have is fear of success. In fact, I think most are suffering from fear of success masquerading as fear of failure. On what basis do I say this? If I ask my clients or workshop participants to think about being successful and having achieved their goal, then ask them to step into the picture and feel how it will feel, they do not typically report feeling good, most say instead that they feel uncomfortable! They are often hit by massive feelings of anxiety and overwhelm, and tend to report all sorts of negative thoughts coming up such as “I don’t deserve this”; “I’m not good enough”; and so on. This is because they (we) have all sorts of negative associations to being successful. And this is what we want to treat using EFT. Ultimately, unless success - however we define it - makes us feel good, unless we are attracted towards it, why would we want to manifest it in our lives?
Many people, when I question them about their goals, do not really have a totally positive goal at all. What they have is a positive mixed with a negative. The negative is what they believe will come along with the success or that would be required in order for success to happen for them – and in their mind both the positive and the negative are linked together so you can’t have one without the other.
For example I recently spoke with a gentleman who said that if he were to become successful he would lose his marriage! Well if that were truly the case why on earth would he choose to become successful? I counseled him to look at creating a new version of success where he stayed in his marriage (since he really wanted to), as his current version of success was really failure. Like many people he had trouble seeing a new possibility because in his mind the choice was represented as an “either-or” conflict where one side had to win and the other therefore must lose; rather than a “yes, and…” where both sides can win.
Ultimately, if you have not achieved your goals then at some level you probably have similarly confused emotional and energetic connections. Seeking to create alignment so that all parts of us are pulling in the same direction has been a major part of my work with EFT in the area of peak performance. I’d like to outline here for you some ways of going about treating these blocks and barriers so that you can ultimately go for your goals without feeling blocked or feeling like part of you is holding back.
Read More
